Straddling my homeland and new land disconnects me from my reality.

Essentially, I’m talking about my experience as an Korean American, growing up in the States with immigrant parents. At a young age, when I was constantly being plucked out of two different cultures and having to adapt to them, it led to confusion and a disconnect to my own identity and reality. And when you’re in this dissociative state, you’re essentially in a different reality in your own mind.

I want to acknowledge these experiences that Korean Americans, like myself, go through.

I’ve contemplated various different forms for my project but I was drawn to do something with scents. And scent is such a powerful sense and it’s linked very closely with memories, especially ones from the past. I was very determined to work with these two—combining scents + memories.

I had the idea to do something with Korean food because it ties heavily with my identity, culture, and Korean background. That’s when I had the idea to create unconventional candles, inspired by Korean scents I grew up with.

And just how food brings people together, I wanted these unconventional candles to do the same for other Korean Americans and allow them to feel seen through my story and experience—but also give them a chance to reflect and remember their past memories as well.

Growing up, Korean food played an important role in my life. It was a way I connected and bonded with friends and the people around me, but most importantly with my mom. She often taught me about Korean culture through her food. Cooking for others was also another way of my mom expressing her affection.

As I started this project, there was an important turning point. I prompted my Korean American friends with this question:

“In a few words, how would you describe your experience growing up as an Asian American?”

When reading my friends’ responses, I remember feeling comforted and seen. That’s when I realized that I wanted to reflect those same emotions into my project—to allow fellow Korean Americans to feel the same way as I did when reading their responses.

I created six different scents and they correlate to significant memories from my childhood.

These scents for the soy candles and the Korean foods that are tied with them reflect heavily with my identity, as well as the memories formed when growing up in an immigrant household. These candles remind me of the bittersweet memories of home and my childhood. I hope to bring comfort and recognition to other Korean Americans who have had the same experience.